Why We Dance

I enrolled the girl-child in "Creative Movement" classes shortly after she learned to walk. I had dreams of having a little ballerina and then possibly branching out into the world of competitive dance and cheerleading. I had a plan. God had his. 

The girl-child was nothing but cute in her tiny "Suzy Snowflake" costume and the next year as well in the little pink princess-like tutu she and the other toddlers twirled about in, not really in any kind of unison, but precious all the same. 

Her third year of dance we, along with a few other parents and girls, decided to try a different school. The new school was great. The teachers seemed much more patient, most of the girls seemed to really come along in their dancing and the girl-child loved her teachers, Mrs. Emily and "Sweet Sue" as they were called. Looking back, these teachers are probably the only reason the girl-child wanted... well, maybe I should say agreed to....take a fourth year of dance. 

By this point, most of the other girls were able to stay in time with each other. They focused throughout their routine and no longer just did their own cute little things like when they were younger. Not my girl-child, however. During the few times we were let in to watch the classes, she looked bored, uninterested and couldn't focus on what she was supposed to be doing. Around this same time, I was learning new words like "Asperger's", "ADD" and "autism spectrum" and, while children with Asperger's generally have a limited area of interests that they master and basically become little geniuses in, dancing (at least in this setting) was obviously not one of a the girl-child's such interests. So, being as we aren't quitters, we stuck it out through the recital, then hung up her 

slippers. 

Was I disappointed? Maybe for a second in the beginning until we started discovering more of what her areas of expertise are (animals, science, etc.) and I am so proud of her that I couldn't care less that she will most likely never be a dancer or a cheerleader. In fact, I'm a little relieved. I never have to worry about seeing her little heart break in front of my eyes if she doesn't make the team or the squad. As an Aspie, she dances to the beat of her own drum. She may not always be the leader, but she is definately not a follower. She is unique and special and wonderful in a million different ways and we still dance. Oh, do we ever dance! We clear the living room floor, turn on some beats and let loose. We have a little "routine" we do where we twirl each other and it ends in a dip. We aren't afraid to break this out anywhere, and have been known to do so on a crowded downtown street when a band was playing and we felt the call. We just park the baby's stroller and let her watch us do our thing. Sometimes now, the baby will even dance along, swaying back and forth or side to side. 

We dance because life is hard. The special way her mind works may make it a little extra hard for her. It may make it a little extra hard for me. I have to figure out new ways to teach her things because I honestly believe with the right type of teaching, she can learn anything and will go extremely far in life, as brilliant as she is. She will probably be a scientist and discover a new species of animal or an engineer or a lawyer (she loves to argue!) I just may have to fight for her at times to make sure she gets the services she needs. And, inevitably, at some point, it will be hard for both of us because the other kids will realize she's a little different and some may be cruel. When they do, it will be my job to comfort her. I will remind her of all of the things about her that are beautiful and perfect and then we will clear the living room floor and we will dance like we don't have a care in the world.